Thursday, September 8, 2011


Baby girl, this is a tough time of year for us as it is the month in which you were born. It caught me off guard how painful it is - we miss you so very much. I will write you a special letter on your actual birthday...but I wanted to write something now, too.

A year ago at this time we were all eagerly awaiting your arrival. Grandma O. from Montana was getting ready to come stay with us for a while to help out. In those final two weeks before your birth, we were putting the finishing touches on your beautiful nursery.

Two tones of pink divided with an orange strip, a beautiful hummingbird bedding set - and hummingbird pictures on the wall.

We had your clothes folded and set up on the shelves, receiving blankets folded, placed in baskets, and newborn diapers stacked and ready to use.

We were ready for our princess to arrive. It saddens us so deeply that you were never able to come home to us... to your room that we prepared for you. We did our best to take your things to you, though. Whether it was taking you your favorite bright pink soft blanket (the one that matched your crib bedding set)

or your soft little leg warmers that you wore in style... it was too precious for words.

The month of September this year does not bring the same excitement. We find ourselves heartbroken at the thought of your birthday coming up soon - and you won't be here to celebrate. Mama's heart hurts. We will still be having a party for you here, celebrating the beautiful life you lived. You went through more pain and suffering in your 4 months on this earth than most of us will ever go through in our entire lifetime. I am so grateful to be your Mama... and eternally blessed to have carried you inside of me for 9 months. We thank God every day for the 4 months you were able to live on this earth. I leave you with a portion of one of my favorite songs, sweet baby girl - it's called "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith.

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but i`m not
Truth is I`m barely hanging on
But there`s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the one who`s chosen me
To carry you


  1. Such a loving post from your heart to your precious Hannah Joy. ((Hugs))

    I am thinking of you and praying for you.


  2. Love you all very much, am praying for you too!