Monday, March 12, 2012

Two Weeks

Dear Hannah,

I haven't written in a while. My feelings, my grief, are all too complicated to put in to words. Daddy & I talk about it often though - and I have talked with other parents who have lost children, too. That has helped Daddy & I sort through our feelings. Feelings that not many will ever understand unless they have lost a child.

We miss you so much. We took Micah over to our friends house just down the road - and the little boy who is his age saw me and asked about the new baby. He was so sweet to talk about you, too. He asked, "Why did your baby girl have to go to heaven?" I smiled, and answered the best I could. He said, "I hope this baby doesn't have to go to heaven so soon!" I smiled again, and agreed with him. I loved being able to talk with him about you. It was precious! These friends of ours really stood by us through your life (and death)... they loved you - and the boys couldn't wait for you to come home so they could play baseball with you and Micah in the back yard.

I know that these boys -and Micah, too - are comforted in knowing how happy you are in heaven, and happy to know you aren't sick anymore. You are so loved, sweet girl.

Love, always your mama

*for those who may read this, please pray for Joe and I. We are two weeks away from delivery of another precious girl. Some anxiety has come up, flashbacks of Hannah's birth, mixed feelings of pure joy, excitement, but still grief mixed in. This new precious baby will never be able to replace Hannah, but it is another blessing, and another way to experience joy and happiness in this life. Please pray for us as we wade through all of the grief still, the joy, the excitement, the nervousness, and all the anticipation. God is still in control, He is still good... always will be. He knows and understands our complicated feelings. He knows our pain, He knows our joy. That is truly comforting. Thank you for praying.

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